Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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