If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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