I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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