What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
