Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
