i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize