I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?