Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?