In the future we'll all be gay
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...