6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.