I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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