All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
