NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize