I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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