pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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