this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
