we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
