6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize