dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
