Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
