I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
