Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
