2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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