i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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