p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize