Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
