oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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