my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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