Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
