I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.