My nipple is on Facebook.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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