Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark

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  (484): He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark http://tfl.nu/z2dx
  Replies (27) Good night (7163) Bad night (740)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge

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  (704): I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge http://tfl.nu/naaa
  Replies (21) Good night (6889) Bad night (583)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

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  (712): it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe http://tfl.nu/5ing
  Replies (14) Good night (3703) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.

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  (702): he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome. http://tfl.nu/3i6t
  Replies (21) Good night (1136) Bad night (6916)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

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  (408): that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it http://tfl.nu/gsrb
  Replies (5) Good night (3872) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.

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  (214): Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school. http://tfl.nu/ngpq
  Replies (4) Good night (3393) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

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  (774): I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard. http://tfl.nu/r66v
  Replies (7) Good night (2183) Bad night (932)
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  (805): View more from California

  Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate

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  (805): Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate http://tfl.nu/qxeb
  Replies (5) Good night (2031) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

  (239): View more from Florida

  that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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  (850): I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult. (239): that is the opposite of a normal text message. http://tfl.nu/cufq
  Replies (6) Good night (1752) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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  (850): Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list. http://tfl.nu/5auq
  Replies (6) Good night (1427) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

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  (301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex

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  (516): He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex http://tfl.nu/i1iv
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.

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  (405): And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/68wk
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.

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  (714): I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like. http://tfl.nu/0ztf
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!

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  (585): Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?! http://tfl.nu/3ugm
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (210)

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