why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
