Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  need another drink. this is the easiest way

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  (248): need another drink. this is the easiest way http://tfl.nu/e4gk
  Replies (1) Good night (2018) Bad night (981)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

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  (216): My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes http://tfl.nu/wpjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1669) Bad night (846)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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  (317): ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions. http://tfl.nu/8qmh
  Replies (23) Good night (3894) Bad night (849)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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  (907): is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk? http://tfl.nu/2ehj
  Replies (26) Good night (7322) Bad night (1037)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page

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  (630): you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page http://tfl.nu/nscl
  Replies (8) Good night (4460) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  Yeah?

  (212): View more from New York

  Stuck it in his pooper.

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  (212): You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year? (475): Yeah? (212): Stuck it in his pooper. http://tfl.nu/y911
  Replies (209) Good night (10854) Bad night (4767)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (6029) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that

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  (641): i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that http://tfl.nu/t0hz
  Replies (22) Good night (5554) Bad night (1454)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (1126) Bad night (2917)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down

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  (+44): i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down http://tfl.nu/7vyc
  Replies (4) Good night (2900) Bad night (847)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.

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  (407): Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people. http://tfl.nu/19v1
  Replies (13) Good night (1925) Bad night (854)
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  (714): View more from California

  My liver just had a heart attack.

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  (714): My liver just had a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/xspi
  Replies (9) Good night (1284) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?

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  (425): Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis? http://tfl.nu/fp34
  Replies (5) Good night (380) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..

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  (216): I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower.. http://tfl.nu/ofzf
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer

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  (414): He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/ci23
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (216)

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