Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out