hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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