Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
