none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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