I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize