is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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