Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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