you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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