I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
