i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
please come you make the beer taste better
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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