I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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