Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
