You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So much rum. So many feels.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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