I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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