He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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