Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
