you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
