you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
