5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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