please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
