I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize