It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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