That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize