we have pet lesbian snakes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
