Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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