She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
