Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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