wakey wakey hands off snakey
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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