carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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